The Rest is My Story

Still heartbroken... With the holidays I was able to keep myself busy and really did not have time to think about anything other then all the knitting projects I had to finish because I am a crazy woman and decided I had to make all the nephews a sweater. Now that its over I am still trying to keep busy but my mind is going to that dark place. And it doesn't help that everyday there is a new announcement and its not me. Don't get me wrong I am really happy for my friends but I still WISH it was me. It was supposed to me months ago. My best friend is almost 20 weeks and they are finding out the sex in about a week. We were gonna be pregnant together. I was supposed to find out the sex in December, it was gonna be a Christmas surprise for our family... I just can't help feeling like my body has completely failed me. My heart is just really heavy and I am just mad, mad at the world, mad at my body, mad at my stupid pancreas. Couldn't something in my life be easy? 2012 sucked, 2013 will have to be better, right?