Fighting....

Fight... That is all my life is now, fighting. I am sick of fighting, I am tired of the constant battle.

I am always fighting with my body. Its not fair there are so many hormones in your body that raises blood sugar but only one that lowers it. It is impossible to keep blood sugars in range ALL the time when your pancreas does not work and you are having to fight your own body.

I am always fighting with insurance on what they will and will not cover. Diabetes is EXPENSIVE!!! How can a company say what is best for MY body. These people who make these decisions do not live with this, and even if someone there does have diabetes they still do not understand MY struggle because everyone's diabetes is DIFFERENT! What works for me may not work for someone else and vice versa. Why should a company have ANY say in what will work for me? This company decides how often someone should test their blood sugar and which insulin and what system of delivery works best. Insurance is a constant FIGHT!

I have to fight with school. I have to get a 504 to protect me and even then it does not offer that much protection. Last semester when I taking one of my finals I felt like I was dropping. I took out my meter and tested and sure enough I was in the 40's. The teacher then came up and took my exam and told me to get out. I was very confused and I ran through my mind did I black out and do something crazy? I asked him if we could go in the hall to talk about this. In the hall he told me that I was cheating because I got out my meter. I tell all my professors at the beginning of the semester that I am diabetic and I will have to eat, test and take a shot at some point. Only after I threatened legal action because he was violating the Americans with disabilities act did he allow me to finish my exam. But why did I have to go to such an extreme statement? Why was this even a fight?

Today the local pharmacy I used picked a fight. Yesterday I noticed my insulin was running low and that I needed to go get a refill. I went to Walgreens. I went to the counter and asked for a refill of Novolog but instead of the flexpens I asked for a vial. The tech then told me they could not give me a vial because the prescription said novo log flexpen. I did not understand the difference but I told them to call my doctor and get the new prescription but that I would need the insulin by the next day, January 17. I got up the today and did my regular routine. I checked my blood glucose, 156, ate breakfast which was 45g of carbs and took my insulin through my insulin pump. I then left my house and went to Walgreens to pick up my prescription because I only had 6 units left in my pump and would need to refill and change my pump site before I went to class. When I requested my prescription they told me they had not been able to get a hold of the doctor. I then agreed to the pens because I HAVE to have insulin and the insulin in my pump would not last until lunch. I told them to call the doctor again because I will need a vial but that the pens will do until the doctor could send the refill. The pharmacist then informed me that they were out of Novolog flexpens. I then asked her if she could then sell me the vial since they were out the pens. She said no. I wanted to know the difference between the two because the ONLY difference between the two is the container. A prescription does not reference the container only the insulin in the containers. I then asked the pharmacist what she thought I should do and she told me I should not eat until I get insulin. At this point I got mean and rude and just plain ANGRY! This statement was medically negligent and just shows that this pharmacist does not understand diabetes OR insulin! First off I am a TYPE 1 diabetic. I am insulin dependent and I must inject it to survive. Second there are many hormones in the body to raise blood glucose while there is only one to lower it. Therefore her advice to just not eat would not work. I then left this Walgreens and went to class. While in class my insulin ran out and my insulin pump constantly beeped and disrupted my class. I went from a blood glucose of 125 in my first class at 9:25 to a blood glucose of 299 after I ran out of insulin. I went almost 3 hours without insulin and my blood glucose skyrocketed.

At this point I am tired of fighting... Everything about this damn disease is a fight. I am fighting with my body, I am fighting with insurance, I am fighting with school and now I have to fight with the pharmacy. Having diabetes is tough enough why must we fight an uphill battle to the the care we need? But honestly its not just diabetes that is a uphill battle and complicated song and dance; it is cancer, it is aids, it is the flu, it is every sickness! Why is it such a fight? It is sickening all the hoops we must jump to get the help we need; which ultimately makes us more frustrated AND sicker.